The “perfect man”…dater beware!!!

The single male in his mid to late 40’s and up. Never married, never engaged, no children. DATER BEWARE???

I was in a “relationship” with someone who was in his late 40’s, never married, never engaged, and never had any children. I thought it was an unbelievable match to be made in heaven because he had no baggage, right? It was nothing but further from the truth.

What I learned:

He is perpetually non-committal

• I thought maybe it was the other girls before me. After all, he said they were crazy, and I (his new girl) was not. What I learned was that he was the common denominator in all of those situations (well, I have to reflect on this because I seem to be the common denominator in all my bad dates).

This guy did not have his stuff together

• He checked all the boxes on the resume, but I wish I could have checked out the references before hiring.

• A credit check probably would have told me everything I needed to know, however, I never asked.

He is a mamma’s boy

• I loved this quality, except there seems to be room for only one true love; his momma.

The most difficult lesson I learned was he was a poor communicator (initially, it was not the most evident)

• He loved to talk. He frequently referenced his glory high school years (red flag: who gives a ****; it is 30+ years later).He talked about how he was always busy doing something. He was a busy body. He boasted being productive. He made important moves (that somehow did not include paying some important bills though). And the talk about these items were constantly on repeat. #yawn (I was the crazy dutiful listener though).

• Although he loved to talk, we never talked about anything deep or significant. It was all superficial. When I tried to go deeper, he seemed to have difficulty expressing himself. This was apparent during our breakup conversation when I asked him to express his concerns/feelings. He asked me if he could think about it and text me in the morning. Who does that?

• He broke up with me by text (did I mention he was in his late 40’s?). No real explanation. Not sure what else to say here.

What are your thoughts? What has been your experience of dating men in their 40’s with “no baggage?” Do you have examples of where this type of situation worked out?